‘Batwang’ and ‘Pretentious’

One of the things I learned from attending the Morecombe Poetry Festival is this. If you’re going to do live work, it’s imperative to throw something lighthearted in the mix. Earnest poetry has its place, but in order to not send everyone to sleep… give ’em a laugh!

Being miserable sod, this was something of a slap in the face. I can do comedic prose, but coming at poetry from an angle of hilarity… crikey. I suppose one or two of mine have humour attached (Davy’s of Dover, maybe?) but I’ve never really set out to be deliberately funny.

So far, these are the best I’ve managed.

Batwang

I read a story
On Twitter about 
Batman’s  penis
making an appearance

in his comic book. 
No doubt it made
The Comics Code 
Authority blanch

but, curious, I put`
“Batman’s Penis”
Into Google. That

first hit was not what 
I expected. Instead
there was a link

to a biography of Dick 
Grayson. I wonder how 
he feels about that.



Pretentious

‘I don’t think you are 
pretentious’ he said 
‘but you are too influenced 

by people who are.’
I mull this over, marvelling
over the Occam simplicity 

of my favourite poets 
and think, ‘no, no. 
It’s definitely me.’